Wow, I never thought that anger was linked to my adhd but well, turns out it does. Thank you for this!
Speaking of anger, I get pretty pissed off when someone (mainly my parents) suddenly ask me to do something but I naturally found a method that, I now notice, has helped me decently through out the years.
I play a "game" (it really is not, that's how I actually feel in the moment) with my parents: whenever they ask me to do something (doesn't matter how small and insignificant it is) my immediate answer is "No". Then, I let my brain settle down for 5/20 minutes with the fact that, yes, I do need to do that thing they asked me to. Most of the time, this is enough for me to convince myself to perform the task and to extinguish the irritation attached to it.
It also helps me when organizing an activity with friends. Me not being a fan of transitions, I often feel resistance and irritation whenever someone suddenly proposes an activity (especially one in the near future). I either say "no" jokingly, knowong that 20 minutes later I'll be fine, or I just delay my answer for the same amount od time.
Hope this might be helpful to someone else too, cheers!
I appreciate these articles, and particularly this one. I know the rage feeling, as though some monster has taken over my feelings and my self-control. What works so estimes for me is to go into the bathroom, tightly wraps towel around me so I feel hugged, then hold myself, feel the feelings and then hug myself, Rick myself and tell my self everything is okay. Then I recover, wipe my eyes, feel more refreshed and come back out. My therapist calls it reaching myself to self-regulate my emotions, through self love practice.
Unfortunately, the word overwhelm has been weaponized against me at my part-time job.
If I’m tired because I didn’t sleep well the night before, and something slipped my mind, I’m overwhelmed. If I show any irritation, no matter how unbelievably irritating the situation is, I’m overwhelmed.
I am very careful not to use that word at work and correct people when they use it because to them overwhelmed is the same thing as incompetent.
I worked there for three years before deciding to pursue ADHD accommodations and now that I have them, I’m clearly incompetent and incredibly disabled.
Try to document, in a physical notebook or a list on your phone, the times and people involved and witness when you are not being given accommodation or you are given a hard time because of your accommodations. If it is persistent and makes the situation worse you have contemporaneous notes.
This is fantastic!
Wow, I never thought that anger was linked to my adhd but well, turns out it does. Thank you for this!
Speaking of anger, I get pretty pissed off when someone (mainly my parents) suddenly ask me to do something but I naturally found a method that, I now notice, has helped me decently through out the years.
I play a "game" (it really is not, that's how I actually feel in the moment) with my parents: whenever they ask me to do something (doesn't matter how small and insignificant it is) my immediate answer is "No". Then, I let my brain settle down for 5/20 minutes with the fact that, yes, I do need to do that thing they asked me to. Most of the time, this is enough for me to convince myself to perform the task and to extinguish the irritation attached to it.
It also helps me when organizing an activity with friends. Me not being a fan of transitions, I often feel resistance and irritation whenever someone suddenly proposes an activity (especially one in the near future). I either say "no" jokingly, knowong that 20 minutes later I'll be fine, or I just delay my answer for the same amount od time.
Hope this might be helpful to someone else too, cheers!
I appreciate these articles, and particularly this one. I know the rage feeling, as though some monster has taken over my feelings and my self-control. What works so estimes for me is to go into the bathroom, tightly wraps towel around me so I feel hugged, then hold myself, feel the feelings and then hug myself, Rick myself and tell my self everything is okay. Then I recover, wipe my eyes, feel more refreshed and come back out. My therapist calls it reaching myself to self-regulate my emotions, through self love practice.
Darn typos. I hug myself, not ‘Rick’ myself lol
About those typos, Read my article in careless mistakes, check the Oops loops one, happy reading🙃
This is such a helpful breakdown! Thank you!
Unfortunately, the word overwhelm has been weaponized against me at my part-time job.
If I’m tired because I didn’t sleep well the night before, and something slipped my mind, I’m overwhelmed. If I show any irritation, no matter how unbelievably irritating the situation is, I’m overwhelmed.
I am very careful not to use that word at work and correct people when they use it because to them overwhelmed is the same thing as incompetent.
I worked there for three years before deciding to pursue ADHD accommodations and now that I have them, I’m clearly incompetent and incredibly disabled.
Try to document, in a physical notebook or a list on your phone, the times and people involved and witness when you are not being given accommodation or you are given a hard time because of your accommodations. If it is persistent and makes the situation worse you have contemporaneous notes.