I have adhd and find it possible to avoid things…. Or they just build up and become overwhelm. I mean sometimes small tasks, I’ll say. I can do later but I’m talking about emotions, conflicts I just always have the desire to resolve if I’m left with residue.
My sister and I are each other’s task buddies. One day we spent 5 hours on the phone, mostly listening to our breaths, but we ended with two clean offices.
I don't think this is very practical. At the end this advice boils down to "just do the thing, you useless moron" which is exactly what I tell myself every day
for me the fear of replying to an email is that I'll get pulled into more replies and it will keep going on. if I reply, then they might reply, and expect me to reply again and then it gets overwhelming
maybe I need a catch all reply like: I hear you, I'm with you
~~~~~~~
or sometimes I do reply immediately and enthusiastically but then don't send it- probably for the same reason of the person expecting me to reply again
the expectations are my fears and I'm afraid I won't know how to disengage or set a boundary that it's time for me to check out
It’s all about setting boundaries and not fall into masking and people pleasing trap. You will find some more hacks in this article I made a while ago.
This is so help!! I currently avoiding paying a bill that’s overdue already. Gives me so much anxiety just thinking about opening the website. This will help me so much!! And I can also send it to my husband so he can better understand my 🧠
Great article! Ironically, I stopped reading towards the end because I didn’t want to have to deal with the overcoming part. There’s always tomorrow….😜
The best thing I ever learned for myself, as someone with adhd, is to set a plan for everything. A date I want to have it done by, a date for reworking, etc usually days before it’s actually due because then I will have a buffer and that alleviates stress. Then I challenge myself to get everything done as soon as possible, before that deadline, so I can reward myself any extra days as free time. It’s like a bonus system for my adhd brain.
Avoidance is both the thing that impacts my life most negatively and also the thing I have the hardest time trying to control. I’ve taken to calling it kamikaze procrastination. No matter what happens, I’m going to hurt myself for sure.
I’ve tried all of the strategies, but then I forget I tried them and they worked. 😬 So this is a fantastic reminder. Thank you!
I use pairing tasks with rewards. I can start working by turning on a movie and opening up my work programs. In 10-30 min I feel bored by just a movie, so I start working at the same time, and then at one point I turn off the movie, cuz it disrupts my workflow.
This is very interesting and probably useful. Although I have never been diagnosed with and am very successful as a PhD astrophysicist, I suspect I may have ADHD. I have read other things that suggest this also.
I also have a PhD (political science) and am a full professor. I was officially diagnosed in my mid 40s.
I’m guessing you’ve probably developed really good strategies over the course of your life that work for your brain. Or you’re just completely in love with your discipline, which gives you the necessary dopamine to get your stuff done. The strategies come back in whenever it’s the boring stuff, which is different for everybody. I have many strategies, some like the ones listed in this article, although mine are usually a little weirder.
I will say that when my strategies stopped working so well after I had a baby in my early 40s, being officially diagnosed and getting medication helped me quite a bit- although I still absolutely need strategies and backup strategies and backup strategies for my backup strategies. If your strategies are working though and you’re getting stuff done without too much stress, that’s a big win.
Excellent, thank you! I'd been doing the 5 minute thing without realizing it. I tell myself to just find something, somewhere to start. I call it "finding the edge". Sort of like peeling a label off something, if I can find the edge of a task that seems doable, I can get started. If I can start, I can usually finish and do a few more things with momentum. But man, that starting point! So thank you again for new tricks!
Your presentation of this actionable information is first rate—concise, clear, repeated (without being condescending). The 5 steps are going up on my wall and I am going into the week ahead hopeful that I will be able to cut through the freeze. Thank you! 🙏🏻
Thank you for creating this so I don’t have too! lol. No for real, thank you! I’m a therapist working with ND folks and I tell them all these skills in bits and pieces but this is an amazing system compilation! Will share broadly.
I really loved this analysis! I’m printing it out and putting it on my fridge. I’m also going to start incorporating it into my interactions with my teens…recognizing when I do it, what helps, coaching them a bit. Now I know why I like having the kids work in the kitchen (dishes, cleaning, etc) when I’m working on a meal: its body doubling to make sure they get their task done!
I’ve also seen “I’m too tired” as a reason for not starting tasks. Often it’s treated as “you’re just putting off the task.” But there is a genuine fatigue component to ADHD, as well highly comorbid autism. Not only can you end up with ADHD fatigue after hyper focusing or a task binge or a deadline, you may also have fatigue from sleep problems (also pretty common). In my case, I’ve also had something similar to CFS on top of it all.
Sometimes I truly am too tired and really do need to rest. Other times, “I’m too tired” is just a story I tell myself to put off the distasteful or overwhelming task.
Probably several posts’ worth there in fatigue, how ADHD fatigue affects functionality, how to manage tasks when energy (or emotional will) levels fluctuate.
thank you for the lovely feedback, I really appreciate it and to hear that the tips and advice are actionable and that you are putting them into practice.
This really gives me a boost to keep going.
Thank you for the encouragement!
This is the whole idea of my blog to help Adhd’ers on their journey and have a better life.
If have any other topics you wish to hear about let me know and i will research it for you. And so we can help other ADHD’ers on their journey.
Also, I’m an adhd-experiencing person myself, and I only speak to things in my therapy work that have worked for me over years of somatic mindfulness practice. A practice allowed/facilitated by my job. It’s not easy to self manage in a top down world…
I have adhd and find it possible to avoid things…. Or they just build up and become overwhelm. I mean sometimes small tasks, I’ll say. I can do later but I’m talking about emotions, conflicts I just always have the desire to resolve if I’m left with residue.
Amazing blog. So glad I found it.
You’re welcome!
Share if you like it :-)
Happy reading,
rgds,
Lud
My sister and I are each other’s task buddies. One day we spent 5 hours on the phone, mostly listening to our breaths, but we ended with two clean offices.
I don't think this is very practical. At the end this advice boils down to "just do the thing, you useless moron" which is exactly what I tell myself every day
for me the fear of replying to an email is that I'll get pulled into more replies and it will keep going on. if I reply, then they might reply, and expect me to reply again and then it gets overwhelming
maybe I need a catch all reply like: I hear you, I'm with you
~~~~~~~
or sometimes I do reply immediately and enthusiastically but then don't send it- probably for the same reason of the person expecting me to reply again
the expectations are my fears and I'm afraid I won't know how to disengage or set a boundary that it's time for me to check out
Hello Annette,
It’s all about setting boundaries and not fall into masking and people pleasing trap. You will find some more hacks in this article I made a while ago.
Hopeit helps,
Rgds,
Lud
https://adhdwisdomtools.substack.com/p/how-to-break-free-from-the-adhd-people
yes, it helps. thanks
I’m going to have to read it again though… and again…. as some things don’t take root right away
This is so help!! I currently avoiding paying a bill that’s overdue already. Gives me so much anxiety just thinking about opening the website. This will help me so much!! And I can also send it to my husband so he can better understand my 🧠
Great article! Ironically, I stopped reading towards the end because I didn’t want to have to deal with the overcoming part. There’s always tomorrow….😜
The best thing I ever learned for myself, as someone with adhd, is to set a plan for everything. A date I want to have it done by, a date for reworking, etc usually days before it’s actually due because then I will have a buffer and that alleviates stress. Then I challenge myself to get everything done as soon as possible, before that deadline, so I can reward myself any extra days as free time. It’s like a bonus system for my adhd brain.
What if I substitute the term ADHD with a certain type of human personality?
This is a fantastic post. Tons of great info! Thank you for sharing it.
Avoidance is both the thing that impacts my life most negatively and also the thing I have the hardest time trying to control. I’ve taken to calling it kamikaze procrastination. No matter what happens, I’m going to hurt myself for sure.
I’ve tried all of the strategies, but then I forget I tried them and they worked. 😬 So this is a fantastic reminder. Thank you!
I use pairing tasks with rewards. I can start working by turning on a movie and opening up my work programs. In 10-30 min I feel bored by just a movie, so I start working at the same time, and then at one point I turn off the movie, cuz it disrupts my workflow.
Lol I alternate between stopping to watch the movie and getting so focused on my work I missed the whole movie 😅
Oooh! I do this too!
This is very interesting and probably useful. Although I have never been diagnosed with and am very successful as a PhD astrophysicist, I suspect I may have ADHD. I have read other things that suggest this also.
I also have a PhD (political science) and am a full professor. I was officially diagnosed in my mid 40s.
I’m guessing you’ve probably developed really good strategies over the course of your life that work for your brain. Or you’re just completely in love with your discipline, which gives you the necessary dopamine to get your stuff done. The strategies come back in whenever it’s the boring stuff, which is different for everybody. I have many strategies, some like the ones listed in this article, although mine are usually a little weirder.
I will say that when my strategies stopped working so well after I had a baby in my early 40s, being officially diagnosed and getting medication helped me quite a bit- although I still absolutely need strategies and backup strategies and backup strategies for my backup strategies. If your strategies are working though and you’re getting stuff done without too much stress, that’s a big win.
Hi Jamie,
I would love to hear about your strategies!
We all learn together😀
Excellent, thank you! I'd been doing the 5 minute thing without realizing it. I tell myself to just find something, somewhere to start. I call it "finding the edge". Sort of like peeling a label off something, if I can find the edge of a task that seems doable, I can get started. If I can start, I can usually finish and do a few more things with momentum. But man, that starting point! So thank you again for new tricks!
Love it! ❤️
"Finding the edge!"
Pretty philosophical and a very pratical way of looking at it.
I want to follow you for more!
Your presentation of this actionable information is first rate—concise, clear, repeated (without being condescending). The 5 steps are going up on my wall and I am going into the week ahead hopeful that I will be able to cut through the freeze. Thank you! 🙏🏻
Thank you for creating this so I don’t have too! lol. No for real, thank you! I’m a therapist working with ND folks and I tell them all these skills in bits and pieces but this is an amazing system compilation! Will share broadly.
Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate is.
The whole idea is to make it bite size, easy to understand and most of all actionable.
If you have any topics you want me to cover, let me know so we can help more people to manage their Adhd,
take care and thx again,
Rgds,
Lud
I really loved this analysis! I’m printing it out and putting it on my fridge. I’m also going to start incorporating it into my interactions with my teens…recognizing when I do it, what helps, coaching them a bit. Now I know why I like having the kids work in the kitchen (dishes, cleaning, etc) when I’m working on a meal: its body doubling to make sure they get their task done!
I’ve also seen “I’m too tired” as a reason for not starting tasks. Often it’s treated as “you’re just putting off the task.” But there is a genuine fatigue component to ADHD, as well highly comorbid autism. Not only can you end up with ADHD fatigue after hyper focusing or a task binge or a deadline, you may also have fatigue from sleep problems (also pretty common). In my case, I’ve also had something similar to CFS on top of it all.
Sometimes I truly am too tired and really do need to rest. Other times, “I’m too tired” is just a story I tell myself to put off the distasteful or overwhelming task.
Probably several posts’ worth there in fatigue, how ADHD fatigue affects functionality, how to manage tasks when energy (or emotional will) levels fluctuate.
hello Cara,
thank you for the lovely feedback, I really appreciate it and to hear that the tips and advice are actionable and that you are putting them into practice.
This really gives me a boost to keep going.
Thank you for the encouragement!
This is the whole idea of my blog to help Adhd’ers on their journey and have a better life.
If have any other topics you wish to hear about let me know and i will research it for you. And so we can help other ADHD’ers on their journey.
Thanks again,
Take care,
Rgds,
Lud
Also, I’m an adhd-experiencing person myself, and I only speak to things in my therapy work that have worked for me over years of somatic mindfulness practice. A practice allowed/facilitated by my job. It’s not easy to self manage in a top down world…